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Alpha's Autobiography page 2

Then tragedy hit - my best friend Watson died - and I was alone and depressed. At first Mom thought I was getting sick because I missed Watson, but after they took me to the vet and Doc ran all of his tests, including that disgusting blood work, they discovered that I have pancretitis - and they predicted a life span of 3 to 6 more months - Mom was devastated and she called every vet in Southern Illinois and the U of I Veterinary School, but no one could offer any hope after they heard my enzyme levels, so Mom went and hassled Doc Miller about anything we could try and he suggested that they feed me only baby food lamb and rice, mixed with enzymes; the tricky part was that I could only have 1 teaspoon of food at a time, with 45 minutes between feedings. I was hungry all the time but if I ate anything more I got sick. Everybody came and fed me all through the day - I did like all the attention but I would rather had a nice big bowl of dry cat food. After a few months, I got to have bigger feedings, like I do now, so life got better. In case you're wondering, I was supposed to be dead 12 years ago. Mom says I'm her living proof that the common wisdom isn't always true -if we'd believed them, I'd be dead now and there would be another corporate symbol on her business card. Now Mom's found some dry cat food that is made of lamb and rice and I get a few of those nuggets on my lamb twice a week - gourmet heaven!!Life was better again after I could eat, only 5 or 6 times a day instead of the 14 to 16 feedings I had done for the previous few months. I learned the trick to getting the humans to feed me whenever I was hungry - I would meditate over my empty bowl and soon one of the humans would appear and would put my food into the bowl. I think this is why when the humans have a problem, they discuss it with me - they tell me I'm tuned into their needs and my vast life and business experiences help them make their decisions (I'm the one responsible for the decision to build the 1 bedroom lofts and then the 1 bedroom flats- they kept dithering back and forth - should we or shouldn't we - so I finally told them "build it and they will come").

As I began to feel better and better and more like myself, I got more businesses up and rolling. I should have known the humans couldn't leave well enough alone - they had the audacity to bring home a dog - can you believe it? a dog in my house!! Well, I just went up to that German Shepherd and bit his nose and got him right in line - he still knows who's the boss and when I hiss at him to get off the spot I want on the couch, to this day, almost 10 years later, he still moves that 90 pound dog body out of my way fast!! He's pretty stupid, too - I threaten to use my claws, but he's never noticed that I don't have any claws. He does come in handy though when other cats comes near my house - all I do is tell him to act dog like and bark at that other cat and those cats just leave and don't come back - so at least I could train him to be my bodyguard. I was going to see if he could figure out the car, but he's too big to jump in the window the way I used too.

In case you're wondering who is going to take over my vast empire when I finally feel like retiring - it's Siren - Mom's all orange girl cat. She's already learned how to sit cute and is currently working on her business skills - she obviously wasn't at the front of the line when they were passing out brains, but there is some potential there. Mom is still working with her about leaving the answering machine alone, or at least, saving the messages. Siren's been working on the answering machine problem for about 8 years now. I guess I'll have to keep running my empire until Siren gets past office machines and into the serious business stuff like designing new floor plans, hiring the subcontractors for the new buildings going up next year, helping Mom find great tenants and, of course, the one thing Siren wants to learn - how to use credit cards!!!! (She learned about credit cards when I explained to her how I gave Andy the idea to let tenant's pay their rent with credit cards - she never knew they existed before - I think she wants to order more catnip plants. She ate the ones in the garden down to the ground, much to my dismay.) If you feel an overpowering urge to communicate with me, just send your message to Mom's E-mail address - she'll make sure I receive your note.

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Alpha's Carbondale Apartments
This Page was last update: Sunday, November 25, 2001 at 6:47:35 PM
This page was originally posted: 11/25/01; 6:34:01 PM.
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A note from the legal cat:
If you have reached this page without reading our intro page, we want to let you know that the measurements on this page were taken off the architectural drawings and that due to decisions made during the construction phase, they may not be exact. They are intended to give you a general idea about the layout and relative sizes of the rooms, not as an exact drawing of each unit. The amenities list is done from memory & we're assuming that we remember what is in each unit. if we have made an error, please accept our apologies.